This is the first of a series of guest posts by Brendan Bennet taken from our book in progress The Miracle of Us: Confessions of Two Online Daters. Needless to say, he’s the second dater in the story. I think some of you have been waiting to hear from him…
Okay, I’d been out of the dating scene for a decade and a half so where do you go to look for romance with a view to finding a future? Forty-six year old man with three young, dependent kids seeks company, possibly long term if mutually desired.
What did I do? I went to a night club. Can you believe it? No really, I did. What the heck did I think I was going to find in there? I found about a thousand twenty-somethings staring at a silly old man.
“What on earth are you doing in here?” I queried myself.
To make it worse I went in there alone. That made me look not only pathetic, but possibly perverted. I didn’t feel comfortable in that night club. Go figure.
Do you know that there aren’t many ways to meet people if it isn’t for professional reasons or to play a sport? However, there was a relatively new concept starting to get a foothold in the world of socialising–internet dating.
“No, Brendan. Don’t be ridiculous. That’s not for you!”
I chided myself. Then I reconsidered, “But what else is there? Do I dare to put myself in such a scary place? Internet dater people are still being mocked by trendy, socially adept, bar hopping people for being “losers.”
“Ah, what the heck. Let’s do it!” I didn’t know who I was talking to, but he or she agreed.
Next step – research!
I knew a sum total of zero people using internet dating services. Either my friends and acquaintances were much more sophisticated than I and didn’t need to consider internet dating, or there were a number of liars amongst them. I’m going with the latter. A smarter man may have given up there, but…
Google! Don’t we love that word! In Australia, the premier dating service on the internet appeared to be a site called RSVP. At last, following a gruelling sixty seconds of clicking, research was complete! The catchy RSVP advertisement allowed 30 days free trial. I couldn’t wait to get started so I missed the clause, “Must supply credit card details for a minimum 6 month membership.”
But wait; there was a huge set back. I actually had to supply my personal details, a (recent) photograph and, horror upon horror, “a few paragraphs about yourself.”
“What is your weight?”
“None of your business or anyone else’s. She’ll have to love me for who I am.”
“What’s your hair colour?”
“Scarce. Is that a colour?”
“Are you in shape?”
“Yes, round. Round is a shape.”
“Do you have children?”
“No, their mother did that.”
“Do you want more children?”
“Well, how many are you trying to get rid of?”
“If you could be stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would you choose?”
“It wouldn’t matter. That person would soon kill me, or at least never talk to me again for getting us both stranded on a deserted island.”
“Are you gainfully employed?”
“Much more so than the idiot who wrote these questions.”
There it was; my completed profile. Here is a word of advice for anyone thinking of going down the internet dating route. Don’t use your computer camera to take that profile picture. Hire a professional. It will save you a lot of heartache—rejection type heartache.
Continued next week…