Looking Deeper

It’s been a rough week.

Symptoms of illness have flared again, leaving me discouraged and depressed. In addition, current circumstances are less than desirable. Can I confess that as a result, I’ve been having a hard time getting excited about Christmas?

But God has a way of flipping my perspective. 

Two days ago, I sat on a massive piece of driftwood, looking out over the expanse of our beautiful bay. My friend and I talked, cried and prayed. As I gazed at the bay, I felt a whisper from God.  What if I have something deeper for you this year? Are you willing to ask? Look for it? Find it?

In the moment, I didn’t voice those thoughts, but as the past couple of days have unfolded, I’ve come back to that moment.

What does Christmas mean this year? DSC_0002

It’s never really been about the materialism. Our family focuses most on the birth of Jesus, and our gift giving is a reflection of all he’s given us. But each year I find God digging deeper in my heart to turn up a nugget of spiritual gold; a treasure beyond even the best intentions of the season.

Last year, I was struck by Emmanuel – God with Us.

Everywhere I turned; the message danced around my head and evidenced itself in numerous ways. I needed God with me, and I knew with great confidence that he was. His presence was imperative to my existence and well-being so he showed up all over my life. His assurance dogged me this year.

What does he have for me this year?

I’m asking, seeking, contemplating. I expect it will hit me with a suddenness that will produce a rush of revelation and tears. And because of this anticipation, my heart toward the coming holiday has done an about face. Today, a seemingly impossible situation that unexpectedly changed reminded me that my God can do the unbelievable in a matter of moments. And nothing will be the same.

I remembered the words of James “…you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.” (4:14) In a moment, everything could change.

Waiting for that moment with anticipation this Christmas.


What about you? What does Christmas mean when you look deeper?

6 thoughts on “Looking Deeper

  1. Laura, it makes my heart sad when I read that you had a rough week, but your tenacity encourages me. I stopped to pray for whatever is going on right now. It’s good to also hear that God intervened this past week. Remember God is always, always with us even when we don’t think so. Stay in each moment (I am also talking to myself here). I hate (yes, that’s a strong word) the commercial aspect of Christmas. My favorite part is celebrating Christ’s birth and that I get to read a Christmas story to a captive audience (our church children) on Christmas eve.
    Wishing you a blessed Christmas! 🙂


    1. Thank you Tracy! I so appreciate the prayers and your encouraging comments. The reading of the Christmas story is a very special tradition. I’m so glad you get to do that. I imagine that you may have a white Christmas. I’ll bet it’s beautiful. May you be blessed as well 🙂


  2. Thank you so much for your honesty. I’m always so encouraged to meet other Christians who have remained faithful and patient through depression. Fight on and shine on for His kingdom! 🙂


    1. Thank you! I think sometimes we have the idea that we’re not good Christians if we feel sad or scared or depressed, etc. I’ve thought this in the past. But if God tells us he is close to the brokenhearted, then I guess he expects that at times we will be brokenhearted. Blessed are those who mourn…because he will comfort them. I think that applies to everything we suffer. I’m trying to learn more to run to him in my pain than to pretend it isn’t real so he’ll be impressed with me. Thanks for your encouragement! 🙂


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