Revelation Kind of Week


Do you ever feel as if you’ve been able to get a glimpse into heaven?

Yesterday, I attended a memorial service for the husband of a dear friend. The sanctuary, or auditorium as we call it at our church, was packed (Covid style). The love and joy in the room, with I would guess, almost two hundred people, wasn’t a feeling, it was a Presence.

God’s presence filled that place as we sang and listened to music and the wonderful tribute to a son, brother, father and husband that loved well and was so loved.

We tasted a glimpse of heaven.

It’s been that kind of a week for me.

Each day, the Lord has given me a new revelation – or a glimpse into his kingdom, his ways in heaven.

Here are some of the insights God whispered to me this past week. Perhaps they will resound in your heart as well or maybe he’s spoken the same things to you.

  • The light in me (Christ) drives away darkness.
  • No matter what things look like, God is setting us up for success.
  • Don’t live in reaction to darkness; live in response to Jesus.
  • You can’t attain anything good by your own effort – only by the Holy Spirit’s work in you.
  • The enemy intends to harm me with the illness I’ve encountered, but God intends to use it for great good. I’m learning to be bold and live in the power and authority He’s given me. My being forced to step back from our business has allowed my husband to lead. My husband and I are growing in unity as we learn to come against this illness together.
  • God wants us to lead others out of slavery and into worship.
  • When I fear disappointment, I sow sparingly which means I will reap sparingly.
  • The enemy is afraid of us when we step into what God calls us to. I offer people hope for their healing and redemption of their lives through Jesus. No wonder the enemy wants to take me out.
  • We become like what/who we worship. I want to become more like Jesus and model a yielded (to Jesus) life.

Quite a list, right?

Not every season is like this, but I believe God is pouring out his spirit on us. He loves us. He wants to be heard by us. When we ask him to speak, he will give up wisdom and let us have “the mind of Christ.” We can be transformed by the renewing of our minds. (I Cor.2:16 & Romans 12:2)

And finally, something I’d never thought of before in this passage:

“The Lord had made the Egyptians favorably disposed toward the people, and they gave them what they asked for; so they plundered the Egyptians.” Exodus 12:36

When the Lord called his people out of Egypt, they were freed from slavery, but they also gave up the ways of living they knew. They gave up everything, but God gave them so much more, not just of himself which would have been enough, but also the material possessions of the Egyptians.

With God, there is always more for us. What is he calling you out of?

May you have a revelation kind of week!

Do You Need REST?


During these last six months of illness, I’ve found the need to rest is much greater. Partially because I don’t sleep well at night, but also due to the fact that my body isn’t well. Fatigue is ongoing.

But recently, I’ve heard God speaking the word REST to me at every turn. In his word, in his whispers to me, and in songs, he keeps impressing this idea of rest on me. I finally realized that it had much more to do with my spirit than my physical body.

There are so many places in the Bible that indicate rest.

  • The Lord leads us beside still waters and makes us lie down in green pastures. (Psalm 23)
  • In Genesis, God rested from creating the world. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t tired, but spoke from a place of completion.
  • The Bible refers to God’s people entering his rest. (Exodus and Hebrews)
  • David, the Psalmist, talks about sleeping in peace. (Psalm 4:8)
  • Jesus tells anyone who is weary and burdened to come to him and swap places. (Matthew 30)

Resting is actually about:

  • being in God’s presence
  • letting him hold us and everything in our lives
  • waiting on him
  • trusting that he’s “got this”
  • not stressing about the outcome of situations
  • believing that the God of the universe is holding onto me in love and he will not let go of me

It’s about being able to be still because we know that HE is God. (Psalm 46:10)

No matter what things look like. Despite the possible “what if’s.” In spite of the illness, or bank account, or silence from a loved one.

As I pondered this, I believe God gave me this acronym to encompass what he was trying to get me to embrace.

R – Refreshed. When I rest in Him, I will feel refreshed rather than weary.

E – Established. He is the one who establishes me and everything in my life.

S – Stay. If I want to find rest, I need to stay in his presence.

T – Trust. It all comes down to trusting him. When I know how much he loves me, I can trust that he has my back.

So if you find you are in need of REST, remember that while a nap might help our physical body, true rest comes from a spirit trusting in and leaning on God.

Waiting Well


Do you wait well?

Photo by Enric Cruz Lu00f3pez on Pexels.com

In line, in traffic, for good or bad news? What about for an answer, or promotion, or tax refund?

I confess, I can be impatient, irritated, or dismissive when I’m called on to wait for something. That may be part of why I’ve been entrusted with this season of waiting.

Since October, I’ve been waiting for God to heal me.

I have some mystery illness which my primary doctor has currently speculated might be seronegative rheumatoid arthritis. It has caused swelling all over my entire body (not just joints as is common), numbness in my hands and feet, rashes, dizziness, fatigue and constant pain – either aching, burning, or stabbing me randomly. Mostly at night. So I have a love/hate relationship with sleeping right now. Moving makes me blow up like a puffer fish. Resting causes me to not be able to move. And I’ve been waiting since December to see a rheumatologist. Apparently there aren’t many where I live, and even less that take my insurance.

Did you hear my snort of impatience right then?

Just to make it clear, I’m not complaining. I don’t really think doctors have answers. The few offered haven’t changed anything. (Diet, medicine, activity, etc.) My unique symptoms don’t really match any particular diagnosis. I believe God is my only answer. And I trust him completely. So I’m asking him to help me wait well while I wait for whatever good plan he has to be completed.

At some point, all of us might have to wait for many things – hasn’t this been a season of that? (Sorry to all you who are still waiting for your state or city to open up again!)

But do we know how to wait well?

Here are some of the things I do to wait well:

  • Every morning I choose to thank God for the day he made and rejoice and be glad in it.
  • I start each day with praising him, reading his word, and singing along with worship music.
  • I listen to prophetic words of encouragement.
  • I pray for others.
  • I proclaim what I know to be true about God.
  • I do whatever I am apply to accomplish and let go of the rest. Sometimes that means not washing my hair. (Yuck.)
  • I ask for help when I need it.
  • I let others know how to pray for me.
  • I keep writing books (even though it makes my hands and arms ache).

God is so faithful. He hasn’t allowed my healing to show itself yet (I believe I am healed and waiting for it to show up), but he has shown me so many things. I’m learning to be bolder in prayer. I’ve been alerted to some old resentments I didn’t realize I was harboring against someone who hurt my family. I’m learning to be slower to speak and better at listening. My compassion has increased.

And in the midst of it all, God has helped me write my next book. Yippee! As I write out the last pages, I’m sharing the beginning here with you. Where Blows the Wind is the sequel to When the Wind Blows and now part of a four book series that I never planned, but apparently God did.

So, I hope you enjoy this taste of Where Blows the Wind while you’re waiting for its release on June 15th in time for your summer reading pleasure.

Maybe it will help you wait well. 😉

Where Blows the Wind

The older man had no idea how Tyrina Louise Duval felt about family. How could he? And yet, here he was inviting her to join their gathering. His family of strangers. At least that was the way he put it. Although they all lived in the same building, the group had never met until Hurricane Harriet blew in less than a year ago. The connection between them was obvious. The longing in her heart nearly surpassed her hesitancy. But in the end, she thanked him kindly and turned to leave, flinging a yearning glance over her shoulder as she left.

Now she watched them from her third-floor balcony.

“Ralph Manning,” the man said when he introduced himself and offered to share their story. She imagined it was a remarkable one. No one would guess that the young couple with a baby and the man with the twenty-something girl—from the resemblance she assumed they were truly father and daughter—were not related to the elderly couple. He claimed they met there. Neighbors in this high-rise building of condos. Clearly, no matter how they met, they shared an uncommon love. Tyrina felt it when she walked by. Even from a distance.

Why hadn’t she stayed to listen?

She wanted to. Now she wished she had. To interact with a group that obviously cared so much for each other could only bring joy. Couldn’t it?

Observing them from the safety of her condominium evoked the old pain and longing while reaching an arm out to her with hope. A sad smile tugged at her mouth. Hope brought disappointment. She knew that feeling all too well.

Turning away from the scene below her, she brushed back a stray curl that had escaped from her braid. On humid days like this, her tawny hair tormented her with frizzy strands that barely remained contained in tight braids like the one she wore today. Otherwise, she let her springy locks hang loose down her back and shoulders. She finally learned about ten years ago that fighting her natural born curls was not worth the long hours and money wasted on product. Besides, she believed in being free. And she was trying to be. That included her hair.

Tyrina shook her head at her thoughts. How had her hair determined so much of her identity? For nearly a lifetime, it seemed it was her one claim to real beauty. As a youngster, when her light brown skin brought some snide comments from those lighter or darker than her, confusion took up residence in her heart. Even her grandmother hated that her ebony-skinned son had married a white girl. Tyrina didn’t understand. How could the color of someone’s skin make a difference as to who they were inside?

Confusion ruled her life for as long as she could remember, and not belonging dictated it from the beginning.

Tyrina shook off the reverie.

It was a beautiful afternoon. Exactly the reason she had gone out in the first place. Until she observed the group with Ralph and his friends celebrating something, she’d planned on spending a few hours outside in the warm, but not too hot weather. In late August, cooler days were infrequent in Southwest Florida, so residents took advantage whenever a breezy day lowered the temperature to a reasonable setting. A walk around the grounds or at Fort Myers Beach after church on Sundays gave her time to reflect on the pastor’s message. Every week it seemed that he spoke to her directly. Obviously, that wasn’t the case. She knew it was the way God let her receive the words.

But the past few weeks, no matter what he said, or what she read in her Bible, nothing landed right. Restlessness stirred in her and wouldn’t be quelled.

Lost in His Love


While this unexplained illness or condition has taken over my body for the past five months, I’ve experienced a myriad of emotions. In the beginning, the majority of my time I lived in a sense of peace. The condition was inconvenient, a little scary and sometimes painful. With no explanations, negative blood tests, and absolute trust in my Savior who heals, I settled into the journey, believing that any morning I would wake up and be fine again.

Clearly, that hasn’t been the case.

My complete trust in Jesus and his healing hasn’t wavered. I’m not scared. I wait each day for his healing to manifest. He’s promised me, my husband, my family, and friends that I will see his healing come. The only unknown is when.

In the meantime, I’ve become nearly immobile. The pain is often so excruciating that it wrenches cries out of me—sometimes when I least expect it. My body is swollen all over making it difficult to move or sleep. I confess that most days I dread getting into bed as well as hating to get out of it.

I eat clean and healthy. I take supplements, herbs, oils, teas and have fasted a number of foods at different times to check for any allergies. A couple of homeopathic medicines give a little relief from pain that typical medications don’t touch.

It seems God has made it clear that this “thing” will not be healed by anything or anyone except him.

I believe he has a purpose in all of this. He’s working in me and my husband. I pray that I will be glorifying to my Lord God. When pain is at it’s worst, I pray for others who suffer far worse than I do for years or at the hands of those torturing them because of their love for Jesus.

Some days, I confess, I feel discouraged.

But the one thing that has sustained me and continues to be the only place of complete relief is being in the presence of Jesus.

I can imagine how people flocked to him when he walked the earth. Many came to him for healing. They obviously wanted freedom from their torturous life. But what some of them realized and experienced was the incredible joy and peace that came from being in his presence.

Even the bleeding woman just wanted to get close enough to touch his robe.

Being in the presence of God.

Getting lost completely in his love. That is where I find peace. Where the discouragement of my condition dissolves and time stops (time is irrelevant to God). Peace, that kind that we don’t understand, washes over me, rests on me, and thoroughly surrounds me.

That is also where healing starts.

Healing for our hearts, our bodies, our relationships, and our life starts in the presence of our loving God. Totally submerged in his love, we also find identity, purpose, direction, and release.

I don’t know how long I will be in this place.

I might wake up tomorrow and be able to move and live again without pain and fatigue. I also might find that the perfect timing of God hasn’t come yet. Maybe it won’t for weeks, months, or years. Healing may not come until I’m in heaven at my Savior’s side.

But I do know that each day, I’m finding peace, strength, growth of faith, and joy in the presence of Jesus here and now.

 There’s an album by Brandon Lake (Bethel Music) called House of Miracles that I’ve been playing on repeat. The live release session of the entire album can be played here on Youtube. Every song is inspired and an incredible leading into the presence of God. One of my favorites, Lost in Your Love, has these lyrics that stand out to me:

“Your power is found in the roughest waters, where I have no choice but to trust you, Father, where my every fear has to surrender….”

This season of illness is rough waters. There are no answers—doctors are stumped, typical diagnoses don’t fit, neither diet nor medication is resolving it. I have no choice but to trust my heavenly Father and surrender any fear or discouragement to him.

It is only when I’m lost in his love, sitting in his presence singing, listening, reading his word, that I’m in another place beyond today’s challenges.

No matter what we experience, whether physical, emotional, circumstantial, or relational, the presence of Jesus with his love washing over us is where we are transcended into another realm. It is where healing starts and will be completed. It’s where peace reigns. Peace we can’t explain. Peace that is beyond happiness due to circumstantial changes. Where fear must leave – in his perfect love that casts it away.

If we want to get well, he is there. Jesus is our healer. Jesus is our peace. He is our hope and joy.

Even in the midst of the roughest waters.

Mold Sickness continued…


The lab results came back positive.

I did more research and found that the mold in my system is the same type used to kill people in biological warfare. So scientists know enough about mold to use it for destruction of lives in war, but most doctors don’t take it seriously enough to be informed about the serious environmental danger when we live, work or go to school in an environment that is killing us?

The information I found astounded me.

I went to another doctor and showed her my lab results. She was kind but very apologetic as she informed me she had no knowledge about mold illness. My test results meant nothing to her. But at least she listened to all I told her and was willing to order an ultrasound of my liver because of the constant upper abdominal pain I had been in off and on for months.

The results?

Liver functioning normally, but I have nonalcoholic steatohepatitis. One of the causes is an overabundance of toxins the liver can’t handle. In addition, I’ve been plagued with various infections that attack a weakened immune system.

The system battling mold.

So we decided to move. Through a blog, I discovered many people have relocated in an effort to eradicate and control their environment and exposure to mold. Just knowing I’m not the only one encouraged me.  Within a few days of leaving our home and area, I began to feel better. Thank God!

The only setback came from us staying in a hotel that had mold in the room while on our travels. It was late, and we had already changed rooms once so felt we had no other option (though I considered sleeping in the car). Withing a few minutes I felt like I had been hit with the flu. I choked through the night with a splitting headache and very little sleep. It took about a week to feel better again.

Brendan jokingly calls mold detection my super power.

I can tell my body is still struggling to recover from the prolonged mold exposure, and I will continue looking for the best treatment options. Recent research has alerted me to the use of hydrogen peroxide which seems to be very helpful to those suffering with cancer and various infections.

At the very least, after two years of dragging myself around feeling awful, energy is like a brand new commodity. Being tired at the end of a long, physical day is very different than the debilitating exhaustion I’ve been living with. My hope is that something I have experienced will end up being beneficial to others.

Here are some things that have helped me:

  • I watch my diet. At least half to two-thirds of my diet consists of vegetables and fruit. I eat meat, but find that I feel best eating fish or eggs, then turkey, chicken and finally a dose of beef here and there. I try to go easy on grains, dairy and sugar. Avoid or limit coffee and wine. Drinking at least 6 – 8 glasses of water a day is helpful. My day starts with the juice of 1/2 a lemon in one.
  • I must supplement daily with multivitamins, 500-1,000 mg L-Glutamine, 3000+ mg of vitamin C, and 5,000 IU of vitamin d3 (per week). Sunshine is wonderful for vitamin D production so I try to get outside in the sun for 15-30 minutes per day.
  • 7-8 hours of sleep per night is critical, and I rest/nap in the afternoon if I feel tired. I used to feel guilty about this but find that pressing through exhausted is worthless and detrimental. Stopping for 30-90 minutes of napping gives me a little more energy to go on.
  • Gentle exercise is good, but I have to be careful not to do too much as that can set me off into a cycle of over-exhaustion which then keeps me from sleeping which makes me more fatigued, etc.
  • Licorice and chamomile teas are my friends. Licorice is a natural cortisol which is what gives us energy, as well as a purifier of the liver and endocrine (lymph) system. I really notice if I forget to eat my Panda licorice or drink the tea. Chamomile is a natural relaxant which calms the adrenal system and soothes the stomach. I owe many a good night’s sleep to this wonderful tea.
  • Essential oils. Thieves blend kills mold and immune blends strengthen me. I run a diffuser at least a few hours per day.
  • A positive outlook comes from focusing on Jesus. It can be so discouraging to feel bad all the time and difficult to explain to people (even loved ones) how I’m feeling and why. I am learning to keep taking one day, one step at a time looking at Jesus like Peter walking on water. I keep worshipful songs playing most of the time or play my guitar, read my Bible and talk to God as if he’s in the room. (He is.)

On the horizon…

  • I’ve recently learned that Pau d’arco is great for killing mold and fungus.
  • Milk Thistle apparently helps our livers detox.

Hoping to continue finding good ways to health. I gladly welcome your experiences in the comments below.