Miracles Do Happen


When my friend, Carol, and I decided to take a chance with online dating, I don’t think we expected the outcome we ended up with. Oh, we hoped to find Mr. Right, but really, what were the chances we would both find our husbands through that vehicle?

At the same time?

Brian and Carol's rehearsal dinner
Brian and Carol’s rehearsal dinner

The actual odds were pretty slim considering that only 1 in 5 singles form a committed relationship with someone from a dating site (match.com). So for both of us to meet our husbands online at christiancafe.com within a couple of months of each other seemed pretty miraculous.

How many people do you know who have met through an internet dating site and are now happily married? (I’d really love to know in the comments below.)

We are both coming up on our fifth year anniversaries which seems amazing to me. What’s even more amazing is the story of how it all happened. Well, Carol’s story is hers to share, but you can find more of my story from earlier posts in Confessions of an Online Dater.

Or, you can read the book.DSC_0002

It’s in the proofing stage currently and is now set to release on February 7, 2014. It will be available through CreateSpace.com, Amazon.com and other retailers.

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON IN PRINT AND KINDLE EDITION

 

 

K-I-S-S-I-N-G


This week I’m delighted to offer another guest post from Brendan Bennet, an excerpt from The Miracle of Us: Confessions of Two Online Daters. Brendan gives us a glimpse into his initial experience with internet dating…

I began my internet dating experience on a secular website. 

Silly Me! My first clue should have been the computer generated initial ‘hi’ for this site was a kiss. A bit forward, don’t you think? I mean kissing on the first date would be pretty irregular especially before even being introduced.

I received my share of interest from people who I declined politely. Those were individuals twice my age (and I was 47 then), not resembling a female (who am I trying to kid, not even vaguely female), escaping war torn nations, believers in the god Pluto (the Disney one), and shall we say, business ladies.

Despite some hiccups, I did connect with a couple of ladies who I ended up meeting in person. One of the ladies decided she was too independent for a serious relationship and my having three children required someone serious about family! I went out with the other women four or five times for some laughs over drinks and dinner. We became friends and had some good times together, but we were not interested in each other romantically. No other situation presented itself. Still, it was refreshing and fun to meet these ladies and realise that being single might not be a permanent situation.

It soon became apparent, however, that secular dating sites might not be the best place for me to search for my life partner. In view of my Christian beliefs, it was desirable to meet a like-minded lady. It would be a disaster if we found out later that our philosophies and beliefs conflicted, and we couldn’t get along because our values were misaligned. Trouble was I didn’t even imagine there might be such a thing as a non-secular dating site.

Technology is not my strong suit. I only recently learned that search engines have, for a very long time, had the ability to tag linked accounts, such as email, with banners for businesses that might synch with the activity on the account. Given I was on a dating site as well as various Christian sites regularly, the search engine must have married those two activities and come up with the banner over my email advertising a dating site called Christian Café. I don’t believe in coincidence; I believe in Providence. I felt this began a long list of interventions that brought me and my family to the U.S. where God gave me Laura as His gift and blessing for healing, new life and wholeness. Mark down finding Christian Café through a banner advertisement as intervention number one.

Filling in the Gaps


I thought it might be advantageous to fill in some of the gaps of our story with a few excerpts from the book in progress. Granted, changes may still occur, but at least you can have a taste of the finished work to come…

Excerpt from The Miracle of Us: Confessions of Two Online Daters….

If you had asked me even ten years ago how I would meet my soul mate, I would never have dreamed that it would happen online. But considering that as of 2010, 17% of couples who married met on a dating site, it doesn’t seem as incredulous as it may once have sounded. (datingsitesreviews.com) Let’s face it; technology has taken over our lives. But living in a technological world which grows seemingly smaller every day does have its advantages. Socially, even as we may spend less time with people in physical proximity, we are becoming more connected to friends, new and old, all over the world. Every internet social network like Facebook, Twitter and Google affords us the opportunity of setting up a personal profile with a vast array of information. Surprisingly, even Yelp set me up with a profile to give reviews on services offered by local businesses, and I found some of my friends had Yelp accounts too.

Connecting online has grown to be an ordinary occurrence now, and internet dating sites could be likened to a “bar scene” where people go to hang out or to meet eligible singles. Not that I personally related to it that way; I hadn’t been to a bar since, well…not in a really, really long time. So when I began internet dating it was all new to me. But the usual ways of meeting guys weren’t working for me.

I’ll admit that in the past, my guy meeting experiences were limited to youth or college groups, school, church or perhaps “a friend-of-a-friend” kind of connections. And I didn’t have much experience since I initially married at the early age of nineteen.  But in this age, how does a forty-something woman with grown children meet men when the single women at her church outnumber the single men by about six to one? Well, at least that’s roughly the statistics at my church.

The actual, in person social scene wasn’t much better. A local Christian singles group was the only avenue available. Some of my acquaintances practically obsessed over each outing as they desperately sought Mr. Right, but that was a little too intense for me.

One of my best friends did actually meet her husband from a friend-of-a-friend, but even after a few years, that was practically old-fashioned. And besides, that hadn’t happened for me either. Most of my friends are married and their friends are married too. Well, you get the picture.

So that is why after being divorced for seven years, I and my never-married-yet friend, adopted sister, housemate, business partner, Carol, decided to take the plunge into the deep pool of online dating.