Check My Attitude


“90 % of what I do, I do to piss people off because it amuses me.”

I overheard this bit of a conversation from a senior student during class as I was substitute teaching one day, and it made me think.

Yes, I admit I was disappointed to hear this sentiment.

But I also thought about my own motives and attitudes. Why do I do 90% of what I do? Is it productive? Helpful to myself or others? Is amusing ourselves the goal of life or is there something more?

While this may be a flippant statement made by a still maturing teen student, it gives us a window into much of today’s society. Where has the value of life gone? Are we so complacent by our lives, pursuits or goals that we live simply to get by or amuse ourselves?

Personally, I don’t believe that is what God intended when he created us. The Bible indicates that we were made for greatness, not simply amusement. God has intentional purpose for us each day.

What is your 90 % today?

Where Are You Going?


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A quarter of 2018 is almost over.

It’s easy to miss it when it flies by so quickly, isn’t? But it’s good to slow down long enough to evaluate where we’ve been so far this year and where we’re headed.

In other words, where are you going?

My husband is a small craft pilot. He loves flying, and after flying with him, I can see why. But I told him I couldn’t imagine commandeering an aircraft. How do you know where to go in the big blue sky? How do you stay on course?

He explained that you first create and submit a flight plan and then you make little adjustments as you’re flying. It’s those small, incremental changes that keep you on track and get you to your destination.

Seems like a good example for life.

So here are some of the little ways I’m keeping on track. Maybe you can relate or will find them helpful.

  • Starting every day with worship music. Nothing gets and keeps my focus in the right place like seeking God first. He tells us to seek him first and he’ll make everything else fall into place (Matt. 6:33). Thank goodness!
  • Reading something from God’s word. That may be verses in my Bible, a devotional or the verses on the worship music I play (thank you Dappy T Keys!). God says his word doesn’t go out and not do what it’s intended to do.  (Isaiah 55:11) So even reading something gives God an opportunity to do his work in me.
  • Learning to love myself. Every day I ask myself what would be the kind thing to do in a particular situation? Am I being loving to myself? Then I’m free to love others too.
  • Reading a book to help me grow in character. Right now that is Boundaries in Marriage; Understanding the Choices that Make or Break Loving Relationships by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. I wish I had read it decades ago as it would have helped me navigate my relationships in a much healthier way. I’m trying to take in small increments and asking God to help me remember and adjust my thinking and behavior accordingly. Every day, I see a little progress.
  • Being grateful. Every. Day. Thanking God adjusts my heart by reminding me of all the little (and sometimes big) ways God is taking care of me. Maybe it’s something as seemingly insignificant as a breeze or the sun on my face, but believe me, praising God for it makes a big difference in my attitude.
  • Looking ahead, but keeping my focus on today. Depending on your current situation, looking forward may be hopeful or despairing. On day five of the Israelites marching around the massive walls of Jericho (Joshua 9 & 10), I’ll bet more than a few folks felt weary and a little doubtful about those walls tumbling to the ground. When we keep examining the magnitude of our problem, it’s easy to become discouraged. Why is this so hard or taking so long? Will we make it through this crisis or illness? Yes. By taking one step at a time. Today. Tomorrow is a new day.
  • Evaluating what I accomplished today. Consider everything. Even resting is important. Did what I do take me in the direction I want to end up?

One of the places my little steps over a period of nearly five years has led me is to the writing and publication of Rachel’s Son which releases this coming Tuesday. It took a lot of work, and I often didn’t understand the journey. (Sign up for my email list or follow me on Facebook or Twitter to be alerted when the book hits Amazon.)

But arrive I did.

And you will too. So where have you been these past few months (or years), and where are you going? Take a few moments today to make some small adjustments to keep on track. Eventually, you’ll find yourself at your destination.

But remember to enjoy the journey. 😉

 

Do You Rely on Your Own Understanding?


IMG_3840Last week we talked about resolutions, goals and seeking God for direction.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

So how do we do that?

I see a few simple success guidelines here:

  1. Stop trying to figure things out. God sees and knows far beyond my capability so don’t rely on my understanding of things.
  2. Before I consider anything, acknowledge God and his wisdom first. Then ask him.
  3. Trust God with everything in me. Even when I’m uncertain about circumstances, I can KNOW that God is God and he’s in control. He’ll work it out.
  4. Believe that when I do the above, God will make every twisted thing turn out straight. Some situations can look pretty messy, but God sees a bigger view — like from on top of the maze we’re in.  Imagine him saying “go left, now right, okay five steps straight ahead” – you get the idea.

I believe God loves us and wants us to succeed.

Therefore, he’s wanting us to look to him, ask for his direction and follow him when he tells us which way to go.

For more on this, check out Pastor Kyle Jackson’s message here. I think he does a good job of explaining how to hear God when he’s directing us.

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What Are Your Next Steps?


Mt Hermon Canopy ToursWe’re well into the new year and everywhere we hear about people failing in their resolutions.

How discouraging is that?

It’s as if we expect to dive in for a few weeks and then abandon our resolve until next year. Setting ourselves up mentally for failure doesn’t seem like the best way to tackle the new year. I’d like to know my forward momentum will carry me…well, forward.

So what if our success isn’t so much about setting goals as it is setting our hearts in the right place?

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”    Psalm 73:26

How weak are our resolutions and will power? Pretty pitiful. But when we start with God as our focus, our steps will fall into place each day. Whether that is in our work, taking care of our bodies, changing our attitudes, or being a better parent.

We can set goals…

Or we can set our heart on God and let him direct our steps. Consider some of these wise words from Proverbs:

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” 19:21

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” 16:9

“…a prudent man gives thought to his steps.” 14:15

I’m finding that when I wake each morning and ask God what he has for me today, he leads me through his word, circumstances, something a friend says, song lyrics, a nudge to my heart to do something or even whispered words in my head. And no amount of resolutions can top that.

I’m not saying goals are bad or wrong.

I believe in being intentional with our lives and goals are part of that. But I believe even more that God has the final word on what is best for my life and how best to bring good to others so by all means, we write down some goals for the year. But each day, asking him for direction fulfills more than just the resolutions.

Peace reigns in that place.

God reminds us in the Bible to “Let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts… “(Col.3:15) and I’ve found that his peace rules when I seek him first and let him direct my steps each day. No matter what happens, if I’m focusing on him, it will end up being successful.

How are your resolutions coming?

 

 

Is It Worth It?


Today I share the words of a young scholar.

He wouldn’t call himself an author even though I am featuring him as such. As a matter of fact, English is his least favorite subject. He didn’t write the following for me, he wrote it to encourage a couple of friends. But when numerous people read it (on Snap Chat) and began responding with resounding thanks and “I needed that,” he showed me.

My featured author is my fourteen year old son, Blair, dsc_0031who composed this late at night in the shower taking a short break during a study session. But I’m not sharing this because he is my son. I’m sharing this because it shows that even at a young age we can consider what it means to take our lives forward. This is what my son was thinking about the other night when he was tired, wanting to be watching television, sleeping or playing a video game instead of studying.

“Is this really worth it? All this stressing? Is it really worth it?”

I really thought about it.  Yes, it is extremely worth it. We dream big. We set out goals way out of our reach to test us. And we make them. We want to go to a good college to get an education and play sports to prove something.

But it starts here.

With these late nights studying. We will go far because we set our goals way too far. We don’t want mediocre. We don’t want to be okay with where we are.

We want to be great.

We want to be completely and fully satisfied with where we end up. We can only do this with the power of God! Let him work in you and through you, and you will go far and accomplish your goals.

Blair’s friends were encouraged, he was encouraged and I hope you are too.

Don’t give up.

As we end the first month of this New Year, look at the steps you’ve already taken and applaud yourself. Even a baby, barely standing and reaching out a shaky foot to take a tiny step is celebrated.

  • Find your celebration.
  • Recalculate your direction and the steps needed to get you there.
  • Evaluate the good and the not so good. Set your goals out there so you have to reach.
  • Be great because God has greatness for you. He will strengthen you and uphold you.

Now go tackle the next eleven months.

Shared with permission. =)

Do It Scared!


This could be your best year ever.

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Brendan zip-lining through the Santa Cruz Mountains at Mount Hermon

According to Michael Hyatt, leadership mentor and best-selling author of Living Forward, if you wait until you aren’t scared, it won’t happen.

What is “it”?

The possibilities for your life. And 2017 could be the year that turns it around.

We’ve been working on taking our lives forward with intentional purpose (if you have missed my Take Your Life Forward guide, sign up my email list and I’ll gladly send you a FREE copy), and I’m thrilled to offer you some tips and resources that can make that happen.

One of the things I love about Michael Hyatt is how helpful he’s been at teaching people to be purposeful with their lives.

That’s why when he offers a webinar, I jump at the chance to participate.

As always, Michael shares valuable information.Whether you buy his books or products or not, you can be certain he will teach you important truths and lead you well. (Can you imagine how much MORE valuable his books and products are than his free advice? Yep. They are that valuable!)

Today I offer some tips from his recent webinar titled 7 Steps for Taking Control of 2017: How to Leverage Goal Setting to Design the Life You Want. And while I can recap here, I highly recommend buying his book, Living Forward,and signing up for the actual course here.

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”      Wayne Gretzky

The above quote has already been a reminder to me this week to press into things that I am afraid to do or think I can’t manage. That alone has been valuable insight passed on by Michael. Here are a few others:

  • Clarify your priorities.
  • Make sure your goals are written, specific, measurable, and with deadlines.
  • Goals should push us a little outside our comfort zone so we continue to grow.
  • Everyone feels fear, uncertainty and doubt-those feelings show we are on the right track.
  • We must have a compelling reason to accomplish the goal.
  • Don’t focus on too many goals at once – start with a few and work toward more.
  • Chunk our goals into small, bite size pieces that start easy.
  • Track your progress so you are motivated to keep going or readjust.

These are just the basics.

For the full benefit of Michael’s instruction check out his website and sign up for his course at Best Year EverBest Year Ever, and/or get his book, Living Forward to make 2017 the year that living forward began with turning fear to opportunity.

What would you like to accomplish this year that has made you afraid in the past?

How to Make Your Writing Goals SMART


Last year one of my goals was to open a Twitter account.  IMG_4050

On December 31, 2011 I posted my first tweet. I don’t think I would have done that if I had only thought or even said to myself that I should start tweeting. I knew it was something that would help my writing career; social networking builds platform, right? But without a clear, specific, measurable goal, I would have gone on thinking about something I should do, but probably wouldn’t have done it or at least not for a long time.

This week I met another goal!

I submitted my first proposal to an agency. Again, while I knew it was the next step, and headed in that direction, it took a specific, measurable goal to accomplish it. My writer friend encouraged me to submit it within a few days of us talking or wait until after the holidays. That specific deadline challenged me in the best way to take care of something on my writing list in a timely matter. Without a measurable goal, you know the story…I’d probably be sitting here working in short bursts of “shoulds”. Instead, I have a proposal sitting in an agent’s office. (Thank you Sherry!)

But how do I make my goals S.M.A.R.T?

Most of us self-motivators have heard of S.M.A.R.T. goals, introduced by Paul J. Meyer in Attitude is Everything.  These goals are: specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound.  Let’s see how we can convert some “shoulds” into SMART goals.

Instead try: By the end of this year, I will open a Twitter account and post my first tweet.

This is a specific, measurable and time-bound goal because I listed a particular action to be accomplished within a set time period.  At first, a Twitter account didn’t seem attainable because I’m not very accomplished with technology, but as it didn’t require a degree or special class, I could attain it by simply checking into it. The goal became more relevant as I blogged and wrote more to build a platform.

  • I should learn my craft.

Instead try: I will attend at least one writing conference this year and practice writing by turning out 1,000 words per day. Or I will subscribe to Writer’s Digest and read each issue to learn my craft; and I will practice by writing 500 words per day.

You can see that naming an action like attending a course or subscribing to and reading a magazine and actually writing a specified number of words each day is specific, measurable, relevant and time-bound. Attainable may depend on your finances or time so adjust as your resources allow. If you need to work an extra three hours per month to save money for a conference, that can be an additional goal.

  • I should work on my novel.

Instead try: On Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I will spend two hours writing my novel. Or, I will edit my novel from 8 a.m. to 11 a.m. every morning until its finished.

  • I should look for an agent.

Instead try: By (fill in date), I will choose five agents from the list on Michael Hyatt’s website.

  • I should submit a proposal to said agent.

Instead try: By Friday of this week I will submit my proposal to the first agent of five on my list. After three weeks, if I have not heard anything, I will submit to the next agent. (Make sure these agents accept simultaneous submissions.)

 

I think you get the idea. Make it specific, doable and with a deadline.

Happy writing!

What ways have you made goal setting work for you? Has this post been helpful? I’d love to hear from you!

What Is Most Important?


What is most important to you?

My husband and I have been working on a Life Plan we were introduced to on Michael Hyatt’s website. We took a few days and went away to plan our lives…specifically our marriage and family goals. Our time away was very productive; we prayed a lot, talked a lot and took pages of notes. We thought figuring out what was most important to us would be easy, but actually the activity challenged us with some great questions:

  • Do I live according to my values, or do I say I value something but live in a way that doesn’t show it?
  • Where do I fit into what’s important to me?
  • What place should work have on my list–do I work simply to live or do I love what I do?
  • Are relationships or tasks more important?

These are just a few of the discussion topics that came up. All of it was so valuable to us.

An interesting thing happened when I returned home.

I noticed that even though I didn’t talk much about my writing priorities, when I settled back into writing mode the path ahead held more clarity than it had previously. Mentally, I had a plan mapped out that was previously vague. What a pleasant surprise! Jumping back in felt exciting and productive. I knew where I was headed, simply as a result of spending time working out those questions.

We’re still at it.

My husband and I still have planning to do, but we feel more purposeful about our daily lives since our time away. We believe what God says about a man making plans, but God directing his steps (Proverbs 16:9). I’m confident that the plans ahead will be fabulous.

What is important to you? Do you have a life plan? How do you set goals?

Getting to the Destination


Change your perspective.

Nearly every day I walk at the beach near my house. From the top of the cliff I make my way down a staircase that boasts 151 steps. Naturally, when I finish my walk, I often take the same set of stairs back to the top. Some people, including my husband and his friend, run up and down them numerous times as part of their workout regime. I’m lucky to get back up them once.  I make it up the first three flights pretty easily, but when I hit that fourth one and see three more to go, I have to change my perspective. The only way I can manage is to not look at the top from where I am. From that point on, I only look at the next step, and then the next, and so on. Breathe deeply and finally I’ve reached the top.

Allow me another anecdote.

Today I attended a wedding at which we savored delectable food. As is usually the case, the bride and groom cut their wedding cake and plates were passed for the guests. I thanked the attendant who offered me cake, and after I took one bite, I turned over the remainder to my husband. The chocolate melted on my tongue with delicious temptation, but I simply didn’t feel compelled to finish it. One taste was enough. That’s because three weeks ago I decided to go without eating any added sugar for three weeks, and as a result I didn’t crave it any longer. I had been indulging a bit much in sweets for the past…uh…too many months (like since Christmas goodies), and the benefit of those extra sugar calories was only the rise of numbers on my scale. I could have said “I’m never eating sugar again” (highly unlikely!) or “Boy, I really need to lose weight” (ya think?), but thinking that way would not have been helpful.

I knew I had to set a concrete and drastic goal.

You may be wondering what these two seemingly unrelated stories have to do with writing…or maybe you’ve already experienced the ah-ha that I did recently. These stories describe two of the most important things I’m learning about writing:

  1. Don’t worry so much about the big picture (which only overwhelms you); focus on one step at a time
  2. Set concrete and somewhat drastic goals that will lead you to the desired outcome

For me, one step at a time is editing my book without worrying yet about where I will send it when I’m done; or developing a character for a book without having the whole story of his/her life mapped out within the novel yet.

A concrete goal has been writing 1,000 words per day; editing 20 pages in a day; or writing for two hours per day for the next fourteen days.

Combine the two revelations and each small, concrete goal is the next single step to focus on!

Suddenly, I find that I’ve written 4,ooo words in a week and my character’s life is unfolding on my computer screen! Editing a little each day has produced a book that is more than halfway finished. I think you get the picture. Small goals are the single stepping stones to our destination.

See you at the top!

What are some of the steps you’re taking? What goals have you set? What part of the big picture have you seen completed so far?