46 Year Old Man Seeks Company


This is the first of a series of guest posts by Brendan Bennet taken from our book in progress The Miracle of Us: Confessions of Two Online Daters. Needless to say, he’s the second dater in the story. I think some of you have been waiting to hear from him…
 

Looking for romance in all the wrong places?

Okay, I’d been out of the dating scene for a decade and a half so where do you go to look for romance with a view to finding a future? Forty-six year old man with three young, dependent kids seeks company, possibly long term if mutually desired.

What did I do? I went to a night club. Can you believe it? No really, I did. What the heck did I think I was going to find in there? I found about a thousand twenty-somethings staring at a silly old man.

“What on earth are you doing in here?” I queried myself.

To make it worse I went in there alone. That made me look not only pathetic, but possibly perverted. I didn’t feel comfortable in that night club. Go figure.

Do you know that there aren’t many ways to meet people if it isn’t for professional reasons or to play a sport? However, there was a relatively new concept starting to get a foothold in the world of socialising–internet dating.

“No, Brendan. Don’t be ridiculous. That’s not for you!”

I chided myself. Then I reconsidered, “But what else is there? Do I dare to put myself in such a scary place? Internet dater people are still being mocked by trendy, socially adept, bar hopping people for being “losers.”

“Ah, what the heck. Let’s do it!” I didn’t know who I was talking to, but he or she agreed.

Next step – research!

I knew a sum total of zero people using internet dating services. Either my friends and acquaintances were much more sophisticated than I and didn’t need to consider internet dating, or there were a number of liars amongst them. I’m going with the latter. A smarter man may have given up there, but…

Google! Don’t we love that word! In Australia, the premier dating service on the internet appeared to be a site called RSVP. At last, following a gruelling sixty seconds of clicking, research was complete! The catchy RSVP advertisement allowed 30 days free trial. I couldn’t wait to get started so I missed the clause, “Must supply credit card details for a minimum 6 month membership.”

But wait; there was a huge set back. I actually had to supply my personal details, a (recent) photograph and, horror upon horror, “a few paragraphs about yourself.”

“What is your weight?”

“None of your business or anyone else’s. She’ll have to love me for who I am.”

“What’s your hair colour?”

“Scarce. Is that a colour?”

“Are you in shape?”

“Yes, round. Round is a shape.”

“Eyes?”

“Two.”

“Do you have children?”

“No, their mother did that.”

“Do you want more children?”

“Well, how many are you trying to get rid of?”

“If you could be stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would you choose?”

“It wouldn’t matter. That person would soon kill me, or at least never talk to me again for getting us both stranded on a deserted island.”

“Are you gainfully employed?”

“Much more so than the idiot who wrote these questions.”

There it was; my completed profile. Here is a word of advice for anyone thinking of going down the internet dating route. Don’t use your computer camera to take that profile picture. Hire a professional. It will save you a lot of heartache—rejection type heartache.

 

Continued next week…

Filling in the Gaps


I thought it might be advantageous to fill in some of the gaps of our story with a few excerpts from the book in progress. Granted, changes may still occur, but at least you can have a taste of the finished work to come…

Excerpt from The Miracle of Us: Confessions of Two Online Daters….

If you had asked me even ten years ago how I would meet my soul mate, I would never have dreamed that it would happen online. But considering that as of 2010, 17% of couples who married met on a dating site, it doesn’t seem as incredulous as it may once have sounded. (datingsitesreviews.com) Let’s face it; technology has taken over our lives. But living in a technological world which grows seemingly smaller every day does have its advantages. Socially, even as we may spend less time with people in physical proximity, we are becoming more connected to friends, new and old, all over the world. Every internet social network like Facebook, Twitter and Google affords us the opportunity of setting up a personal profile with a vast array of information. Surprisingly, even Yelp set me up with a profile to give reviews on services offered by local businesses, and I found some of my friends had Yelp accounts too.

Connecting online has grown to be an ordinary occurrence now, and internet dating sites could be likened to a “bar scene” where people go to hang out or to meet eligible singles. Not that I personally related to it that way; I hadn’t been to a bar since, well…not in a really, really long time. So when I began internet dating it was all new to me. But the usual ways of meeting guys weren’t working for me.

I’ll admit that in the past, my guy meeting experiences were limited to youth or college groups, school, church or perhaps “a friend-of-a-friend” kind of connections. And I didn’t have much experience since I initially married at the early age of nineteen.  But in this age, how does a forty-something woman with grown children meet men when the single women at her church outnumber the single men by about six to one? Well, at least that’s roughly the statistics at my church.

The actual, in person social scene wasn’t much better. A local Christian singles group was the only avenue available. Some of my acquaintances practically obsessed over each outing as they desperately sought Mr. Right, but that was a little too intense for me.

One of my best friends did actually meet her husband from a friend-of-a-friend, but even after a few years, that was practically old-fashioned. And besides, that hadn’t happened for me either. Most of my friends are married and their friends are married too. Well, you get the picture.

So that is why after being divorced for seven years, I and my never-married-yet friend, adopted sister, housemate, business partner, Carol, decided to take the plunge into the deep pool of online dating.