Lost in His Love


While this unexplained illness or condition has taken over my body for the past five months, I’ve experienced a myriad of emotions. In the beginning, the majority of my time I lived in a sense of peace. The condition was inconvenient, a little scary and sometimes painful. With no explanations, negative blood tests, and absolute trust in my Savior who heals, I settled into the journey, believing that any morning I would wake up and be fine again.

Clearly, that hasn’t been the case.

My complete trust in Jesus and his healing hasn’t wavered. I’m not scared. I wait each day for his healing to manifest. He’s promised me, my husband, my family, and friends that I will see his healing come. The only unknown is when.

In the meantime, I’ve become nearly immobile. The pain is often so excruciating that it wrenches cries out of me—sometimes when I least expect it. My body is swollen all over making it difficult to move or sleep. I confess that most days I dread getting into bed as well as hating to get out of it.

I eat clean and healthy. I take supplements, herbs, oils, teas and have fasted a number of foods at different times to check for any allergies. A couple of homeopathic medicines give a little relief from pain that typical medications don’t touch.

It seems God has made it clear that this “thing” will not be healed by anything or anyone except him.

I believe he has a purpose in all of this. He’s working in me and my husband. I pray that I will be glorifying to my Lord God. When pain is at it’s worst, I pray for others who suffer far worse than I do for years or at the hands of those torturing them because of their love for Jesus.

Some days, I confess, I feel discouraged.

But the one thing that has sustained me and continues to be the only place of complete relief is being in the presence of Jesus.

I can imagine how people flocked to him when he walked the earth. Many came to him for healing. They obviously wanted freedom from their torturous life. But what some of them realized and experienced was the incredible joy and peace that came from being in his presence.

Even the bleeding woman just wanted to get close enough to touch his robe.

Being in the presence of God.

Getting lost completely in his love. That is where I find peace. Where the discouragement of my condition dissolves and time stops (time is irrelevant to God). Peace, that kind that we don’t understand, washes over me, rests on me, and thoroughly surrounds me.

That is also where healing starts.

Healing for our hearts, our bodies, our relationships, and our life starts in the presence of our loving God. Totally submerged in his love, we also find identity, purpose, direction, and release.

I don’t know how long I will be in this place.

I might wake up tomorrow and be able to move and live again without pain and fatigue. I also might find that the perfect timing of God hasn’t come yet. Maybe it won’t for weeks, months, or years. Healing may not come until I’m in heaven at my Savior’s side.

But I do know that each day, I’m finding peace, strength, growth of faith, and joy in the presence of Jesus here and now.

 There’s an album by Brandon Lake (Bethel Music) called House of Miracles that I’ve been playing on repeat. The live release session of the entire album can be played here on Youtube. Every song is inspired and an incredible leading into the presence of God. One of my favorites, Lost in Your Love, has these lyrics that stand out to me:

“Your power is found in the roughest waters, where I have no choice but to trust you, Father, where my every fear has to surrender….”

This season of illness is rough waters. There are no answers—doctors are stumped, typical diagnoses don’t fit, neither diet nor medication is resolving it. I have no choice but to trust my heavenly Father and surrender any fear or discouragement to him.

It is only when I’m lost in his love, sitting in his presence singing, listening, reading his word, that I’m in another place beyond today’s challenges.

No matter what we experience, whether physical, emotional, circumstantial, or relational, the presence of Jesus with his love washing over us is where we are transcended into another realm. It is where healing starts and will be completed. It’s where peace reigns. Peace we can’t explain. Peace that is beyond happiness due to circumstantial changes. Where fear must leave – in his perfect love that casts it away.

If we want to get well, he is there. Jesus is our healer. Jesus is our peace. He is our hope and joy.

Even in the midst of the roughest waters.

Sweet Hymns of Joy


For many this time of year isn’t a cheerful time. But JOY can still be found.

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As the song says,

“…a weary world rejoices…”

And today’s world is certainly weary, isn’t it? But it is an emotional weariness. A deep question of where is the good in all the bad.

So for today’s post, I feature my author and musician friend, Lisa Hamil who has created some helpful material for taking your life forward into joy.

Don’t we need some joy?

Lisa coaches people in a practical way to create joy in their lives. She utilizes three steps: Faith, Appreciation and Relationship as the basis for gaining a settled life of more joy.

You can download her material here.

Not only that, but she’s just released her new book, It’s About Time.

Her book reviews various perspectives of time both conventionally and from a biblical perspective and shows us how to live NOW.

We don’t have to wait for heaven to experience a rich, fulfilling life. We can enjoy our “now” by living in the present with JOY.

Lisa has a passion for healthy vibrant living. As a pharmacist, she knows that medications may not be the best answer for creating what really promotes healthy life-style changes. Spiritual guidance has so much to offer in propelling our life’s mission.

Our thought life is what energizes our world.

Lisa has found that her moment by moment connection to the presence of God is what transformed her life. That life long pursuit grows more fully with each day. Her mission in life is to share that expanded joy with those seeking to live a life of purpose, passion and fulfillment by knowing the reality of God. Lisa herself is a joy and delight to be with. She exudes peace and confidence. Her book and music are available on Amazon or on her website.

What Involves Change, Boxes and a Notice at the Post Office?


We’ve all done it.

It’s a given at some point in each person’s life.

This past year, my husband, Brendan, and our two youngest kids did it. It’s not usually fun. Never easy, and requires many hours of back breaking work. Even with professionals.

I’m sure by now you’ve solved the simple riddle. The answer?

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But I’m not talking about my physical location, I’m talking about my blog.

Laura’s Confessions is packing it up and heading out the door.

You know how sometimes you just need a change? Or maybe you’ve outgrown your place? Perhaps you have some issues with your landlord…

Well, the time has come.

Due to a variety of reasons (some listed above), Laura’s Confessions will take up permanent residence on Laura’s website, laurabennet.com, starting July 1st! I’m pretty excited about my new location.

For the past 4 years, WordPress has been my home, and I’ve really enjoyed it. But last year, I began an author website and have been feeling a little torn between trying to keep both entities up and running. Then WordPress began making some changes. While, I’m certain most bloggers here love the new format and find navigation absolutely wonderful, for me it’s created more of a challenge to post and respond to my followers.

I feel awful for those of you who have fallen through the cybercracks!

So since my contracted time is coming to an end (like a lease), I’ve decided now is the time to make the break.

I realize I will lose some friends with my move.

It makes me sad, but it can’t be helped. Just as I miss my family and friends in my last physical location, there are those with whom I will only be able to keep touch through Facebook.

But isn’t it great that you can still follow me there and on my new blog?

Simply look for me at laurabennet.com and you can keep in touch, follow my blog AND have access to my books as well. And if you sign up with your email, you’ll get a free gift and quarterly newsletters!

You can’t beat that.

It’s sad, I know. But I hope to see many of you still following Laura’s Confessions on my website. And I have some new confessions too. Like about how I’m dealing with mold sickness, what I’m learning about essential oils and how I’m implementing a healthier lifestyle for my family.

It’s all good.

Hope to see you soon!