Tag: proposal

Failing to Grow

December 21, 2013

A few weeks ago, I had a wonderful conversation with my eldest son. 301

During the course of our discussion, he made two comments in relation to life and career:

If you are unwilling to experience discomfort, you will not experience success.

and

It’s okay if I keep failing as a result of trying to grow.

Since our chat, I’ve thought a lot about that conversation and the wisdom of those two statements. I think they apply to life in general, but I’ve specifically thought about them in regard to my writing career.

Sometimes, I must really push myself outside of my area of comfort in order to find get to the place I really want to be. With trepidation I pressed myself to:

  • write my first book
  • approach publishers
  • attend writer’s conferences
  • start a blog
  • join Twitter
  • write a second book
  • have my work critiqued (several times)
  • submit proposals
  • re-write both books numerous times
  • entered contests
  • learn, practice, learn more, practice again
  • write articles
  • seed out the advice of established authors
  • attend a mentoring class
  • read a lot (okay, so that part is fun)

For some people, those things may be easy. For others, the same activities may feel impossible. Looking back on the journey, I see that I am becoming more successful as I am willing to be uncomfortable. Because we’re only uncomfortable for a little while, until we try, learn and become comfortable again with our new knowledge or abilities.

And even though I’ve failed a lot doing the above things, I’ve been growing. So the failure is part of the process and actually something to be embraced, not avoided.

I want to see my life in the same light.

Pushing outside my comfort zone, trying, failing, learning, failing, and growing.

Thanks for sharing, Josh. I love you.

 

What makes you uncomfortable? Where have you found growth in failing?

 

 

Finding an Agent

January 11, 2013

After a few trusted author sources recommended I find an agent, I began the search last month.

I printed a list of recommended literary agencies DSC_0001off Michael Hyatt’s website, and proceeded to examine each agency website. Thoroughly. Even though I’m not exactly sure what I’m looking for. I pray as I search, so I guess I’m waiting for a sense of “rightness” that settles with me.  Something that makes me feel I’d like to work with these people, and hopefully, perhaps they’d feel the same about me.

I already “found” one such agency and sent a proposal according to their guidelines. Side note here: according to numerous sources, it appears that people actually disregard agent/publisher guidelines. Seriously? That seems to me to be the quickest way to rejection. Why go to so much work and then blow off the submission guidelines? I don’t get it. Ok, off my box.

So I submitted my query/proposal, but realistically the chance that said agency will want me seems pretty slim. Probability-wise. It could happen (oh God let it be so!), but I’m not holding my breath. Therefore, I’m on the hunt for back-ups. Following that advice from other professionals seemed like a good plan.

Unfortunately, I had never heard of most of the authors represented on every single site. 

At first that made me feel like some illiterate, ignorant dolt. Are you kidding me? I write (as an amateur yes, but still…), and I read extensively, so how is it I don’t have any idea who most of America’s current authors are? But then I found it strangely encouraging realizing how many published authors are out there. So many, in fact, that I, in no way, can keep up. Good for me in the sense that it’s okay if not everyone knows who I am or follows me on Twitter.

Some agencies represent vast numbers of authors, many whom I did recognize and have read. Famous people that I think everyone must have heard of. Authors whose books have consistently made bestseller lists. Other agencies have lists of authors who aren’t published yet, don’t have websites or seem (at least to me) to still be in the amateur writer category, if you get what I mean.

At the end of the day, my confusion (and confession) was this:

Do I want an agency like the first one I mentioned? Or a better question is would they want me? If they’ve managed to get all these great authors published, I want them on my side, right? But they’re a little intimidating with their bestseller author lists. Would I even stand a chance?

Or, do I want an agency like the second one described? If many of their authors are yet unpublished (exactly where I am) or mediocre writers (I hope I’m not), can I rely on them to represent me? Or am I simply delighted that there’s a chance for us amateur writers to find an agent?

There you have it.

Dilemma of the day. Anyone have any thoughts?

How to Make Your Writing Goals SMART

December 15, 2012

Last year one of my goals was to open a Twitter account.  IMG_4050

On December 31, 2011 I posted my first tweet. I don’t think I would have done that if I had only thought or even said to myself that I should start tweeting. I knew it was something that would help my writing career; social networking builds platform, right? But without a clear, specific, measurable goal, I would have gone on thinking about something I should do, but probably wouldn’t have done it or at least not for a long time.

This week I met another goal!

I submitted my first proposal to an agency. Again, while I knew it was the next step, and headed in that direction, it took a specific, measurable goal to accomplish it. My writer friend encouraged me to submit it within a few days of us talking or wait until after the holidays. That specific deadline challenged me in the best way to take care of something on my writing list in a timely matter. Without a measurable goal, you know the story…I’d probably be sitting here working in short bursts of “shoulds”. Instead, I have a proposal sitting in an agent’s office. (Thank you Sherry!)

But how do I make my goals S.M.A.R.T?

Most of us self-motivators have heard of S.M.A.R.T. goals, introduced by Paul J. Meyer in Attitude is Everything.  These goals are: specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound.  Let’s see how we can convert some “shoulds” into SMART goals.

Instead try: By the end of this year, I will open a Twitter account and post my first tweet.

This is a specific, measurable and time-bound goal because I listed a particular action to be accomplished within a set time period.  At first, a Twitter account didn’t seem attainable because I’m not very accomplished with technology, but as it didn’t require a degree or special class, I could attain it by simply checking into it. The goal became more relevant as I blogged and wrote more to build a platform.

  • I should learn my craft.

Instead try: I will attend at least one writing conference this year and practice writing by turning out 1,000 words per day. Or I will subscribe to Writer’s Digest and read each issue to learn my craft; and I will practice by writing 500 words per day.

You can see that naming an action like attending a course or subscribing to and reading a magazine and actually writing a specified number of words each day is specific, measurable, relevant and time-bound. Attainable may depend on your finances or time so adjust as your resources allow. If you need to work an extra three hours per month to save money for a conference, that can be an additional goal.

  • I should work on my novel.

Instead try: On Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I will spend two hours writing my novel. Or, I will edit my novel from 8 a.m. to 11 a.m. every morning until its finished.

  • I should look for an agent.

Instead try: By (fill in date), I will choose five agents from the list on Michael Hyatt’s website.

  • I should submit a proposal to said agent.

Instead try: By Friday of this week I will submit my proposal to the first agent of five on my list. After three weeks, if I have not heard anything, I will submit to the next agent. (Make sure these agents accept simultaneous submissions.)

 

I think you get the idea. Make it specific, doable and with a deadline.

Happy writing!

What ways have you made goal setting work for you? Has this post been helpful? I’d love to hear from you!

The Dreaded Book Proposal

November 3, 2012

The time has come.

A little over a year ago, after hearing about the book I was writing, an author friend suggested I find an agent. I didn’t feel ready. In fact, I felt completely inadequate as a writer with so much more to learn, that while I felt encouraged by her advice, I simply couldn’t follow it at the time. Six months ago, a well known author critiqued a portion of my first novel at the Mt Hermon Christian Writers Conference and indicated that I should consider looking for an agent and thinking about which publishing house I’d like for my contemporary fiction manuscript. Her advice forced me to embrace the idea that perhaps the time was nearing for me to look for an agent.

I can’t put it off any longer.

I’ve finished the first book and with eighty pages written on the novel, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m at the point of needing to write a proposal to find an agent. Can I just say that writing two books has been easier?

I described the situation to my seventh grade daughter like this…

Imagine you are given an assignment (let’s say a paper to write for your language class…). You’ve spent many hours constructing this piece of writing. You’ve written, re-written, had it critiqued, edited, re-written (the fifteenth time now) and finally you like it enough to turn it in. BUT before your teacher will accept your paper, you must write a compelling letter (query) with only enough information and intrigue to make her want to see a summary of your assignment (proposal).

If your teacher decides your letter is persuasive enough, she may ask you to submit the summary of your paper. You hope this is the case.

Now the situation gets even more difficult.

This summary must capture her attention. Each sentence must lead her to the next, and the next creating a longing in her to see your full assignment. (No pressure here!) What if it’s too short? Or too long? How many pages exactly is a “summary”? Do you have enough information to leave her feeling confident with your ability to write, or is it too much and boring her? What details are imperative to create a good feel for the storyline and which are superfluous? What other papers have been written about your topic? Are they same, or different and in what ways? Finally, do you write the author bio in first or third person??

Wow, Mom! That’s intense! I’m glad I don’t have to do my schoolwork that way.

To which I answered, “So am I sweetheart. So am I. Now you know why I put up my little sign that announces, “I’m in my zone. Please do not disturb.”

She got it.

For all of you out there who have written, are writing or still dread the day when you will finally have to write…a book proposal, I salute you. I admire you. Nice job. Keep it up. Don’t delay (it may take longer than it did to write your book). May you find an agent who feels compelled at the “Dear Sir.”

What is your book proposal writing experience? Have you found ways to make it easier?
 

A great resource: http://michaelhyatt.com/writing-a-winning-book-proposal

Catch of the Day

September 28, 2012

Last week we had the pleasure of hearing from guest blogger, Carol Lloyd, about her experiences meeting her husband online. As promised, here is Part 2…

Two weeks later the same guy writes.

“You’ve been on my mind a lot the last few days. Would you mind, if I give you a call?”

No, I guess not—but why? Had anything changed about his plans? 

As it turned out, I had already planned a trip to Washington for the following long weekend. So I proposed meeting for coffee. No expectations on my part, after all, I’d gotten a “Dear Jane” letter! Nevertheless, he drove the two hours to meet me in Seattle. We had coffee, talked, had dinner and talked. Our first meeting IRL (in real life) was four and a half hours. At the end, when saying goodbye, he asked if he could call me. He asked—big points!!

We called, visited and in the middle of the dating process I panicked! I think he’s very serious – now what?! Prior to this revelation, I had mapped out, for example, when he should travel to visit me, but I didn’t tell him. This was only an agenda I had in my head based on proper male attentiveness (according to Carol).

He actually arrived according to my mental agenda!

So I proceeded to make my signals of interest clear; after all, there was a agenda. Then, he became serious! Oh no! Do I really want to get married? Am I in love with this guy? What will his (grown) kids think of me? Am I too analytical and in my head? (Well, maybe sometimes.) Nonetheless, my questions and emotions needed sorting. I required answers!

Why am I panicking? He isn’t a jerk or a wimp.

I was afraid because I didn’t know what to expect; I needed time to process my feelings. Not only that, but I compared us to other couples! The first two reasons are not surprising. In a relationship it can be difficult to know what will happen, especially a long distance one. Or, on the flip side, did I have expectations that I was unaware of which necessitated definition and resolve? I found myself in both categories, so I had homework. Time, in part, was my answer. I had to deal with my expectations known and unknown, as well as process my feelings. Women should never short change the time required to process feelings, and it is best if some of that processing is done with a close friend or family member.

The third reason for my crisis involved sabotage. Yes, I was the culprit destroying my relationship! Anytime someone compares, corrosion ensues. Comparisons are rarely helpful, especially in regard to relationships, because another couple’s situation, their temperaments and life experiences are always going to be different than mine, or ours in this case. Our path was as valid as any other couple’s. Once I navigated the minefield of expectations and comparisons, I was home free to understand my feelings.

He proposed four months after our first coffee time.

I hemmed and hawed, considered the ramifications, logistics and potential outcomes. After all, I’m quite practical in nature, remember?(Actually, I did none of those things.) By the time he was done with the proposal, we were both teary eyed and I replied with a resounding YES! As mentioned, I did those mental gymnastics while I was panicking and even after the initial crisis subsided.

Don’t forget, fishing often takes time.

This kind of fishing is not like the “catch of the day” at a restaurant, thrown out when it’s spoiled. This lasts a lifetime so impatience does not serve us well. Honestly, I didn’t think there was a guy out there like Brian. We are very well suited. I’m always learning more about him, adjustments are perpetual, and life and marriage can bring struggles. Bottom line, I would do it all again and love having him to share a life together. Having known him for four and a half years, we now have a wonderful mixture of time-lines, where it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long but we’ve known each other forever! Although dating and marriage are not one transcendent experience after another, I am blissfully happy, married to a wonderful and imperfect man.

What expectations or comparisons have you brought to your dating situations? How do you process your emotions?

For more great blogs from Carol, find her at www.timeforcoffee.blogspot.com

Christmas Proposal

December 24, 2011

I can’t believe that I am celebrating my fourth Christmas with Brendan; well, I’m counting that first one when we booked a quick flight on December 9th for me to fly out the twelfth and be with him in Australia until two days before Christmas because I couldn’t bear to be away from my kids on Christmas. We shared the actual day via Skype; his Christmas day was my Christmas Eve and I watched them open their gifts around the artificial Christmas tree that I had helped the kids decorate. I remember it as if it were yesterday and yet we’ve had two others here–almost three now, each in a different house. Oh, life has certainly been an adventure.

After we confirmed my flight to Australia, and I pinched myself to see if I was actually going to see Brendan again, I began to think about him proposing to me. He had come to America five weeks after my first visit to Australia, and we made a quick tour of California and Nevada so that Brendan could ask my parents for my hand in marriage and meet my three other children as well as my close friends. That trip whirlwinded us from Los Angeles to Pismo Beach, San Francisco and Reno and back home again where Brendan tore himself away from me to return home to his kids the day before our Thanksgiving. The purpose of that trip was for him and my kids to get to know each other. Still, as our love for each other and confidence that God’s plan included marriage grew, I became impatient for the next step, which in my mind was the actual proposal.

However, I also wanted to wait for God’s and Brendan’s timing, so as I boarded the plane I prayed that God would be in control and let me just enjoy another couple of weeks with Brendan in person without focusing on when, where and whether he would pop the question. Here’s a good place for a confession. Carol (who had become engaged while I was on my first trip to Australia) and I had frequented a few jewelers for just a slight preview of what we might like in the way of engagement/wedding rings when the time finally arrived. On one such occasion, I fell in love with a ring and visions of my finger graced with it in proud proclamation that I belonged to Brendan nearly tormented me, but I fought off the longings and determined simply to relish the time with my sweetheart.

Confession number two: I thought about a proposal a lot. I know. I know. Silly girl, dreamer of dreams, oh romantic that I am…

Brendan was glad to have me there, not only because he missed me, but because his late wife had always planned and shopped for Christmas far ahead of time and he felt a bit lost. The year she passed, most of their Christmas things were already done so Brendan didn’t have very much to think about, but this time he didn’t even know where to start. I gladly helped him figure out what gifts to buy, and off we went shopping each day. We even looked at a few rings, but alas, no proposal.

Finally, on our last night, we enjoyed a wonderful evening together, dining and walking around eating gelato afterwards; and I thought surely, any moment he would ask me. Still, I pushed those pestering thoughts away and tried not to anticipate or expect anything. I truly wanted to trust Brendan’s timing in the situation. The night passed and we went home. Confession three: I was a little disappointed. I couldn’t believe that I was leaving the next morning, again feeling the dread of not knowing where we were headed with our relationship. Plus, the sorrow at having to leave him again really overwhelmed me.

We cuddled on his bed for the last time, kissing with tears in our eyes.

“I can’t believe that I’m going home tomorrow and I don’t know when I’ll see you again.”

Brendan kissed me again, and then looked in my eyes. “I can’t let you go without asking you to marry me. Will you marry me?”

Of course!!! “Yes, of course I will.”

Brendan had an elaborate plan that he hadn’t had time to concoct and carry out, and no ring yet to offer so instead he ended up asking me on the spur of the moment completely differently than he had thought he would. But all I cared about was that I was going to marry him someday soon. That was good enough for me! And somehow it seemed a little easier to go home excitedly exclaiming my engagement.

You’ll have to read the book to find out about the ring…