Tag: romance

Sweet, Sweet Summertime

June 14, 2021

At the end of May, Brendan and I celebrated our twelfth anniversary with a lovely dinner at Trattoria Mangia in Naples, followed by an airboat ride the next day and a trip to Seed to Table where we enjoyed browsing their massive market/food court and eating a farm raised lunch. Call me crazy, but I thought my “raw lasagna,” which was completely plant based, would still be cooked. It was delicious, but hard to fully appreciate since it was cold. I couldn’t get past the mental expectation of a hot dish. But in spite of that surprise, we had a wonderful time.

With June arriving in Southwest Florida, we’ve seen flowers and produce take off and summer afternoon rains return. A baby mockingbird sat at our front door the other day, pecking at his reflection in the little window next to the door.

Hello, summer!

“As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.” Genesis 8:22

We can be sure that our God is faithful in every season of physical and spiritual growth, whether circumstances are pleasant or challenging. His timing is perfect and steadfast. And it definitely has been a season of God growing us and preparing us for exciting things to come.

Summer also welcomes vacation days with time for book lovers to indulge!

My NEW RELEASE, Where Blows the Wind, is available! Starting JUNE 15th in time for your summer reading, and to celebrate summer, the e-book will be FREE through JUNE 19th! That alone is something to celebrate. The paperback version will soon follow.

In case you have yet to check it out, Where Blows the Wind is book 2 in the Winds of Redemption series and follows the story of Tyrina Louise Duval whose tragic, shameful past keeps her from searching for her siblings who were all separated in childhood. But, when author Dylan Davis shares his miraculous story of reconnecting with his missing daughter, Tyrina begins to hope for a similar miracle. She also learns to trust God and care for Dylan. But will his new book be the catalyst for betrayal or redemption?

GET IT NOW

46 Year Old Man Seeks Company

August 11, 2012

This is the first of a series of guest posts by Brendan Bennet taken from our book in progress The Miracle of Us: Confessions of Two Online Daters. Needless to say, he’s the second dater in the story. I think some of you have been waiting to hear from him…
 

Looking for romance in all the wrong places?

Okay, I’d been out of the dating scene for a decade and a half so where do you go to look for romance with a view to finding a future? Forty-six year old man with three young, dependent kids seeks company, possibly long term if mutually desired.

What did I do? I went to a night club. Can you believe it? No really, I did. What the heck did I think I was going to find in there? I found about a thousand twenty-somethings staring at a silly old man.

“What on earth are you doing in here?” I queried myself.

To make it worse I went in there alone. That made me look not only pathetic, but possibly perverted. I didn’t feel comfortable in that night club. Go figure.

Do you know that there aren’t many ways to meet people if it isn’t for professional reasons or to play a sport? However, there was a relatively new concept starting to get a foothold in the world of socialising–internet dating.

“No, Brendan. Don’t be ridiculous. That’s not for you!”

I chided myself. Then I reconsidered, “But what else is there? Do I dare to put myself in such a scary place? Internet dater people are still being mocked by trendy, socially adept, bar hopping people for being “losers.”

“Ah, what the heck. Let’s do it!” I didn’t know who I was talking to, but he or she agreed.

Next step – research!

I knew a sum total of zero people using internet dating services. Either my friends and acquaintances were much more sophisticated than I and didn’t need to consider internet dating, or there were a number of liars amongst them. I’m going with the latter. A smarter man may have given up there, but…

Google! Don’t we love that word! In Australia, the premier dating service on the internet appeared to be a site called RSVP. At last, following a gruelling sixty seconds of clicking, research was complete! The catchy RSVP advertisement allowed 30 days free trial. I couldn’t wait to get started so I missed the clause, “Must supply credit card details for a minimum 6 month membership.”

But wait; there was a huge set back. I actually had to supply my personal details, a (recent) photograph and, horror upon horror, “a few paragraphs about yourself.”

“What is your weight?”

“None of your business or anyone else’s. She’ll have to love me for who I am.”

“What’s your hair colour?”

“Scarce. Is that a colour?”

“Are you in shape?”

“Yes, round. Round is a shape.”

“Eyes?”

“Two.”

“Do you have children?”

“No, their mother did that.”

“Do you want more children?”

“Well, how many are you trying to get rid of?”

“If you could be stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would you choose?”

“It wouldn’t matter. That person would soon kill me, or at least never talk to me again for getting us both stranded on a deserted island.”

“Are you gainfully employed?”

“Much more so than the idiot who wrote these questions.”

There it was; my completed profile. Here is a word of advice for anyone thinking of going down the internet dating route. Don’t use your computer camera to take that profile picture. Hire a professional. It will save you a lot of heartache—rejection type heartache.

 

Continued next week…

The Rest of the Story

June 9, 2012

I feel a sequel coming on.

I came to the point this week where I am out of excerpts from The Miracle of Us: Confessions of Two Online Daters. I can’t give away all the excitement of the ending even if you know that we made it to the altar. Suspense isn’t really the point, but after all, something needs to be left for the book. I’m encouraged by how many want to read the finished product. Pray a publisher feels the same!

The good news is that as I’ve come to the end of writing, I’ve felt that the story isn’t finished. Naturally, our story has really only begun with a mere three years of marriage completed. We were considered newlyweds by many until only a few weeks ago!

But we’ve been learning so much during those three years. Therefore, Beyond the Miracle: What We’ve Learned About Through Marriage will begin it’s writing process soon. At this point, the book’s skeleton is taking shape in my mind.

More to the story.

While away on our anniversary weekend a few weeks back, I came across a card that had this quote by Irving Stone on the front:

The best romance is inside the marriage; the finest love stories come after the wedding, not before.

Wow! We thought the best part was our story leading up to the wedding. The challenges, romance and miracles that occurred before the wedding astounded us, but so much more has happened afterwards. Nitty, gritty tough stuff. Not that the struggle to step out in faith, believing we could each start over in romantic life by dating online through Skype with someone across the world wasn’t tough enough. I mean, it’s not like praying for our seven children to feel good about the whole situation, and braving immigration paper mountains was a Sunday drive. Those eleven months held some of the hardest obstacles and greatest moments either of us has every experienced.

The truth about romance and marriage.

Just as our story of online dating, long distance romance and eventual wedding bells (actually there were no bells ringing at our wedding) has portrayed faith, redemption and overcoming the impossible; our marriage continues with building a new life out of a broken past. Restarting careers in middle age, parenting at three age levels: school age, teenage, and grown children as well as being step-parents and grandparents at the same time encompass their own sets of challenges. And immigration paperwork and appointments don’t end when you enter the country. Add to that the fact that marriage itself is the vehicle that transforms our lives and there’s more of the story to tell.

I can’t wait to see what’s in store for us as we continue the journey. Hopefully, our story will offer hope for yours.

Isn’t it exciting and a little stressful the way life unfolds? What are some of the challenges you’ve faced through life, marriage or family?

Relationships

February 18, 2012

I confess that writing a blog while writing a book on the same topic is a little tricky especially when they aren’t exactly coinciding. My blog is ahead of my book, but I realize I’ve left parts out…crucial parts, and I tend to feel tempted to go back and fill in the blanks. For those of you following our online dating story, that may thrill you, and yet as in any good book or movie I don’t want to give away the ending.

Okay, so for those of you who know us, you know the ending already. Many of you were there at our wedding. So it’s a little like telling a story backwards. And as I’ve said, that’s a bit tricky.

In spite of the temptations and expectations, what I feel led to write today, while it may not seem pertinent to the ongoing story, is the bottom line of pertinence.

Relationships.

Relationships no matter with whom, are complicated and difficult. And amazingly wonderful. And we won’t grow without them.

Last night after hearing a bit of our story, a young woman posed a question to my husband and I that went something like “So do you still feel like you’re in the honeymoon stage? Is the romance still there?”

Very good questions. With multiple levels of answers. Which is why I think I feel drawn to the issue of relationship today.

The easy answer is yes and no. Our honeymoon introduced the “end” of the honeymoon “phase” (our first real fight), and yet we often gaze at each other with eyes and hearts of honeymooners. We feel the romance of our love, devotion and miracle story frequently and deeply, but we also sometimes look at each other and wonder (like all couples) “what the heck is going on, how did we get here and how do we do this?”

My husband and I just started reading Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge. It’s a book about marriage being a picture of God’s love story with us. Before we finished the introduction, I was crying and my husband was tearing up. It’s that powerful, honest, encouraging and hopeful. I’m so grateful that someone has the guts to talk about the struggles in their marriage, not with the shame and embarrassment that we all feel, but with the transparent truth that shouts out “the emperor has no clothes!” Aren’t we all sighing with relief when someone finally states  the obvious that no one else will dare utter? Marriage is hard, and we don’t get it. I’m crazy in love with this person that bewilders me and makes me want to punch them at times. By the way, is that okay? Are we doomed then to be a statistic or is there hope for us?

Sometimes it’s hard to admit that the fairy tale isn’t working out as we imagined it would, but what I’m learning is that the fairy tale is true and happily-ever-after IS possible, it just takes a little more hard work and perseverance  than movies ever have time for. It’s okay to struggle and to let people know we need help. It’s not only okay, it’s normal, typical and to be expected. The problem is that we just don’t expect it, and then panic when difficulty comes and we aren’t sure how to handle it.

One of the best (and most frequent) encouragements we have received from other further-along-in-marriage couples is the concept of being on the same team. We love each other; that’s a given. So instead of fighting each other and each other’s baggage, we want to learn to fight together on behalf of each other. How can I help my husband become all God intends for him to be? How does he do the same for me? We can apply this to relationships with siblings, friends and parents as well, not only spouses.

Next week maybe I’ll fill in some of the blanks of our story, though not so much as to keep you from wanting to read the book, but for now let’s just say that marriage is a fantasy, a reality, a dream worth pursuing and fighting for. And, we win in the end. Isn’t that what romance is all about?

Fairy Tales Do Come True

September 29, 2011

So much can be said about online dating. Technology has taken over our lives and social networks such as Facebook, Twitter and MySpace have mushroomed practically overnight. But regardless of whether we meet someone in person, through Facebook or on an internet dating site, some topics remain constant. One is our innate desire for a fairy tale romance. And even guys can get into the happily-ever- after theme.

Our internet dating story proves that fairy tales do come true. You know the kind that only happens in the movies, but never in real life? The type of story I could only dream about with an intense conviction and a deep, unexplained yearning. Don’t most of us? Our story defies everyone who ever told me I was an idealistic, unrealistic dreamer. This IS the fairy tale, happily-ever-after story of love and marriage between two soul mates absolutely made for one another. And I’m not just saying that because it’s my story. Other people have kindly pointed it out to me.

Maybe we need permission to believe in that fairy tale kind of love and marriage. What we subconsciously are convinced of and yet desperately hope to be true can be, in fact, a reality. So, I’m saying it here. Believe it. Have faith that this kind of heady, in-the-movies romance exists and always has, even in spite of our out-of-control divorce rate. It’s not only a possibility, it is a reality. God created it to be that way.

I realize that technically I’m still a newlywed with only a couple of years to my fairy tale credit. You might easily dismiss what I’m saying with a shrug and a wave of your hand, and some comment like “Wait until the honeymoon is over.” But, just for the record, let me assure you that our “honeymoon” ended as soon as we stepped off the plane into the arms of our waiting children; settled into a rental house full of mold that made me chronically ill; tackled step-parenting issues, and talked about finances for the first time. The first two years of married life could easily be classified as one of the most difficult seasons of both our lives. Yes, even including both of the years I went through divorces and the year my family lost everything we owned, not to mention the devastating year Brendan lost his first wife and was left caring for three young children. But, every good story has a climax of impossible conflicts that confines us to the edge of our seat with breath holding anticipation of the resolution. Ours is no different.

And, I believe in miracles. Yes, I believe God is still all about raising-the-dead kind of miracles, but the kind I’m talking about here are the everyday things that really don’t make sense, and shouldn’t happen, but do anyway. Some people call them coincidence, but these “God things” are really just too coincidental and leave us marveling in a perplexed kind of awe. That is what fairy tales are made of, and that is what our story is about–the one that began on a Christian internet dating site a few years ago.