Tag: suffering

Not My Will

June 8, 2024

Photo by Rodolfo Clix on Pexels.com

On the night Jesus was taken into custody, he went to the garden to pray. He asked his disciples to pray as well.

“Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” Luke 22:40

The word for fall in the original language is actually “enter. In all the years of reading this verse, I always thought Jesus wanted them to pray for him, and I didn’t understand what temptation they would “fall” into.

However, recently in reading this I had a different perspective.

Jesus, in his actions and focus before going to the cross, was giving the disciples (and all of us) an example of how to face suffering. He knew that persecution, torture, and death were coming not only for him, but also for many of his followers.

While we weren’t there in the garden, but I believe, based on the words we do know, that Jesus was praying for God’s strength to allow him to surrender to his Father’s will; for God’s glory and our redemption to be accomplished.

For a greater purpose than simply not suffering.

Perhaps the temptation we can enter is running away from hard things in fear; to decide that God would never allow suffering; to choose our will over his.

That’s our natural inclination, right? Who wants to suffer?

Remember when Jesus told the disciples what was ahead, but Peter refused to accept it? Jesus told him that he was listening to/speaking like Satan. Jesus said he didn’t have the things of God in mind. (Matt.16:23)

When I examine these scriptures together, it makes me consider a purpose beyond my assumptions.

I know that Isaiah 53 tells us that Jesus took our pain, and that by his wounds we are healed. I truly believe that healing is ours because Jesus took all of God’s wrath for our sin on him. Those blows to his body were meant for me, but he interceded on my behalf.

But I’m a little more cautious of believing that Jesus heals because he doesn’t allow suffering, and that his death means we shouldn’t need to suffer. We live in an evil world in which Jesus himself said we would have trouble. Many followers of Jesus have suffered greatly and still are. Yes, he has overcome the world by his death and resurrection, and one day we will live without suffering of any kind.

But everything he does is to lead us to him. To reveal his glory and bring us good.

I think the problem is that we only see suffering as bad. We see death as bad. Paul claimed that to die was gain.

Of course that is our initial and normal view. We’re human and don’t want to experience any kind of pain physically, emotionally, or mentally. It hurts. We are naturally built to avoid pain. I don’t purposely set my hand on a fire. I’m sure you don’t either. And I’m not suggesting we should look for it.

But what if suffering is what turns our heart to God? Or develops a maturity in us that is like Christ?

Yes! I want to be healed. I believe 100% that Jesus is my healer. I proclaim that every day. BUT I’m so grateful for every way suffering and pain has humbled me, brought me to my knees, and forged such a sweet intimacy with Jesus.

I pray the way I handle suffering brings glory to him. I pray the manifestation of my healing does the same. But what if the way I deal with my pain brings more glory to him and causes me to be closer to him than healing me would?

I know the enemy uses pain; inflicts more on me in times when God is doing something big in our lives. He tries to weaken me and make me tempted to sin in my pain. It’s easier to lash out, be cynical, or become bitter and discouraged. I’m definitely at my weakest in pain.

And that is when God is my strength. In pain is when I cry out to Jesus even more; pray in the Spirit because I don’t have words; and seek his power more because I simply don’t have any. It’s where I’ve learned to rest in him.

In that place, I pray I respond graciously to life in spite of the pain instead of becoming bitter and complaining. If so, I show his victory in me and bring glory to God.

Jesus asked if there was another way. Could the cup of suffering be removed from him? He asked his followers to pray in the same way he prayed. He knew they would face suffering just as he was about to. But his choice was surrender and to proclaim, “Not my will.”

I’m so grateful he chose surrender and humility. Aren’t you?

Can I do that? Can we chose that?

He Was Despised

March 27, 2024

Photo by Deeana Arts on Pexels.com

What Jesus did for us…

“He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.” Isaiah 53:3

He was beaten, mocked, tortured and never said a word in his defense. What had he done? The son of a carpenter and a young virgin lived a quiet, poor, sinless life loving others. Healing them. Freeing them from the captivity of pain and sin.

Yet men thought God was punishing him. How arrogant of us when he was actually suffering for our sin. Making a way for us to be able to sit in the presence of our Holy God.

This week we head into the remembrance of what Jesus did for us. Most people will be more focused on chocolate bunnies and hunting Easter eggs. (Or those creepy, awful marshmallow peep things – okay, sorry. My personal opinion!) Don’t get me wrong, I love dark chocolate, and those malted robin eggs rock.

But I’m praying that in the midst of celebrating and eating spiral-sliced ham with family, more people will have their eyes opened to the reason for the celebration. I love bunnies, but they aren’t the point. (Nor do they lay eggs even if they deliver them – a lot of confusion out there, people.)

I get some of the connections like how eggs represent new life and Jesus rose out of the tomb to life. He is treasure that we seek like when we’re hunting for those eggs. (Still not sure where that bunny comes in.) And honestly, I don’t think dying eggs or hiding them for kids is the biggest problem.

The bigger issue is whether we know and understand what Jesus did for us on the day he was crucified, and when he came back to life three days later. And if we do, have we hidden our face from him? Turned our back? Decided that we don’t care or don’t need or want him?

On the night Jesus was arrested, leading to his ultimate crucifixion, an innocent bystander sustained a severe injury by a zealous disciple. Peter cut off Malchus’ ear. When Jesus healed him, the event forced Malchus to seek the truth about Jesus, causing him to gain a new understanding about what Jesus did for him.

You can read about his journey in my new book, An Ear to Hear. If you know Jesus, like me, you might gain deeper understanding and love for him. If you don’t know Jesus yet, I pray that through Malchus’ story you’ll discover his deep love for you.

Available now.

A Mountain of Grief

October 14, 2023

Lake Tahoe

Over the past months, I’ve been dealing with grief in varying degrees and learning how to better cope with the losses in my life. Thus, this four-part series. I didn’t plan on this timing initially, but given the atrocities happening in Israel and Gaza this week, the topic seems appropriate. My prayers are with Israel and all the innocent people on both sides being torn apart by terrorists.

Piled up grief wreaks havoc on our soul, spirit, and body. I’m discovering this first hand.

Maybe when a loved one dies, because we can mourn publicly and hold a ceremony that signals an end, it seems a little easier to walk through the stages of grief and after time accept the outcome.

But what about grieving other losses and disappointments? And what happens when the losses come in multiples or one right after the other and accumulate? Do we know how to grieve? Do we even acknowledge grief in those situations such as estranged family, divorce, moving, or the loss of a job, house or friendship?

Or perhaps we suffer forfeiture in a transition—letting one thing go so we can move into the next?

What if crisis or disaster occurs? Do we recognize that as loss? We didn’t lose anything in Hurricane Ian. But the loss of our favorite memorable places because of a devastated Fort Myers Beach has kept me from returning there even though it’s been nearly a year since the tragedy. It still makes me cry.

We may consider, on a lesser scale, the loss of health, or the ability to be active because of injury or advancing age, or the disappointment of dreams not realized. But they are all losses that leave their mark over the years. What do we do with the emotions resulting from all of these places left empty for various reasons?

What happens if the grief piles up?

Due to some recent events, I’m learning about what the accumulation of grief can do to us. Discussions with a handful of close friends who have all experienced situations ranging from physical challenges, to crisis, or the loss of a loved one has broadened my perspective regarding the grief process, and how we each navigate it.

These conversations, often accompanied by tears (especially mine—I’m a crier), are also helping me deal with and learn to examine my current and past amassed grief.

In this series, I’d like to share my observations in the hope that they will aid others in exploring their grief and the losses leading them there. I’ve broken this into sections to better delve more deeply into this subject. As I grow and learn, I may only be one step ahead; perhaps even a step behind you in the process, but I believe we can journey together.

Not only can we benefit from each other’s experience, but we find comfort and consolation in Jesus, a “man acquainted with sorrow and grief.” Isaiah 53:3 In fact, he bore our pain on the cross so we could relinquish our burdens to him.

In Psalm 10:14, the psalmist says, “You, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand.” The same passage goes on to add, “You hear, O Lord, the [depressed in mind or circumstances] [longings] of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry…”

As we explore our feelings, I’m so grateful we have a loving God who walks alongside us, hears our cries, and knows what it’s like to be full of sorrow.

Grief, especially accompanied by trauma can take us down paths of further destruction as it did to my main character, Rachel in Rachel’s Son. If you haven’t read it, and would like to follow the heartache and eventual joy of a woman who’s baby was murdered by Roman soldiers in Bethlehem, you can get the e-book FREE for the next 5 days on Amazon.